Posts Tagged ‘Corey’

RCASA’s Wednesday Outreach with Corey: Engaging Men to Stop Rape

In Outreach, Sexual Assault Awareness on May 26, 2010 at 8:00 am

There are things we do without even thinking about them, take a look at some of the things you may be doing that perpetuate sexism and violence. Do you do any of these things? If you do, STOP! So you can help STOP RAPE!

  • Use derogatory words to describe a female like “bitch,” “freak,” “whore,” “baby,”
  • See women as a stereotype rather than a person?
  • Use or fund violent or degrading pornography?
  • Stand by while others degrade women?
  • Look the other way when you suspect abuse?
  • Use alcohol as a way to coerce sex?
  • Whistle, Cat call or in any way sexually harass women?
  • Believe in the media portrayal of women as property or trophies?
  • Indulge in media that demeans women?
  • Try to pressure someone into having sex?
  • Fail to communicate with your partner about sex?
  • Refuse to take no for an answer?
  • Not make sure you get a clear yes for sex, every time?
  • Believe that “she deserved it”?
  • Assume that if someone wants sex if they are sexual with you on any level?
  • Think because you had sex before, you don’t have to get consent to have sex again?
  • Forget that men are victims too (1 in 8 men in Virginia have been sexually assaulted)
  • Set a bad example for adolescents?
  • Think of sexual assault as a women’s issue?

What can you do instead:

  • Speak Up! You will probably never see a rape in progress, but you will see and hear attitudes and behaviors that degrade women and promote rape. When your best friend tells a joke about rape, say you don’t find it funny. When you read an article that blames a rape survivor for being assaulted, write a letter to the editor. When laws are proposed that limit women’s rights, let politicians know that you don’t support them. Do anything but remain silent.
  • Develop an awareness of the cultural supports for violence against women. Develop the ability to recognize myths which support violence against women. When you see sex without consent on TV, in a film or read it in a book, remind yourself that such behavior is rape.
  • If a brother, friend, classmate, or teammate is abusing his female partner—or is disrespectful or abusive to girls and women in general—don’t look the other way. If you feel comfortable doing so, try to talk to him about it. Urge him to seek help. Or if you don’t know what to do, consult a friend, a parent, a professor, or a counselor. DON”T REMAIN SILENT.
  • Talk to a victim about how the risk of being raped affects their daily lives; about how they want to be supported if it has happened to them; about what they think men can do to prevent sexual violence. If you’re willing to listen, you can learn a lot from women about the impact of rape and how to stop it.
  • Believe people when they tell you they’ve been raped or harassed. Support what they say about it. Don’t ask about their behavior or what they were wearing, etc. Listen to them.
  • Recognize that women neither ask for nor deserve to be raped ever. (from sexual assault and abuse prevention program Stanford University)

RCASA Wednesday Outreach with Corey: National Volunteer Appreciation Week

In Outreach, Sexual Assault Awareness on April 21, 2010 at 3:28 pm
National Volunteer Appreciation Week April 18-24
It is National Volunteer Appreciation Week!
RCASA would like to take this opportunity to thank all of our volunteers that help us out year round – including our board members.  They have alot of responsibility and none of the pay.  We appreciate all the hard work they have done these past few months.  We really appreciate them!
Volunteering is the practice of people working on behalf of others or a particular cause without payment for their time and services. Volunteering is generally considered an altruistic activity, intended to promote good or improve human quality of life, but people also volunteer for their own skill development, to meet others, to make contacts for possible employment, to have fun, and a variety of other reasons that could be considered self-serving.Volunteering takes many forms and is performed by a wide range of people.

At RCASA, we are dedicated to caring and helping people recover from sexual violence and abuse. We provide a safe, healing environment so survivors can express feelings, be understood and have access to a range of supportive and therapeutic services

To apply for a volunteer position, please download a volunteer application at our website RCASA.org.  You may attach a resume if desired.  Email to volunteers@rcasa.org.

The following is a list of volunteer opportunities at RCASA, as well as a description:

Volunteer Victim Advocates to provide support to the hotline and medical accompaniment program.   Volunteer experience in victim services preferred.  A commitment to 1 weekend a month and 1 evening a week required.  Volunteers must complete an initial 33 hours training and participate in quarterly update trainings annually.  

Outreach Volunteers to provide support at community health fairs and events, general presentations, and fundraising events.  Volunteer experience in community relations preferred.  Volunteers must complete an initial 25 hours training and participate in quarterly update trainings annually.

Office Volunteers to provide general help with mailings, presentation and outreach preparation, phone support, research, blogging, and other office duties.  Experience in office support services preferred.  Volunteers must complete 10 hours of initial training and participate in quarterly update trainings annually. 

To find out how you can volunteer, please contact RCASA at 540-371-6771 or email outreach @rcasa.org

RCASA Wednesday Outreach with Corey

In Advocacy, Outreach, Sexual Assault Awareness on February 10, 2010 at 9:00 am

Who Wants To See The Sexting Fruit? I Do I Do!

This month is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month


The repercussions of teen dating violence are impossible to ignore – the issue affects not just youth but their families, schools and communities as well. Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month (TDVAM) brings national focus to the issue of teen dating violence, highlights the need to educate our youth about healthy relationships, raises awareness among those who care for them and provides communities with a critical opportunity to work together to prevent this devastating cycle of abuse.

So Back To The Sexting Fruit!
Please go to www.thatsnotcool.com , have your kids and any kids you know check out this website! It has awesome videos that involve socks and fruit figuring out problems in teen relationships like:
 Text Monster Feel like you can’t escape your BF or GF’s texts?”
Pressure Pic Problem Ever been badgered to send nude pictures?”
The Break-In When private space becomes not so private.”
There are also “Call Out Cards” on subjects like “Textual Harassment” and “Rumors Rumors” to help kids speak out against problem behaviors. Plus lots more, go see for yourself!

RCASA’s Wednesday Outreach With Corey:”The Accused”

In Advocacy, Outreach, Sexual Assault Awareness on January 6, 2010 at 10:13 am

This week we are headed to a panel discussion at Mary Washington University. We are going to view the movie: “The Accused.”  Run out and get this movie right now if you have never seen it! It was done in the 80’s starring Jodie Foster. Without giving away the whole thing, here is a quick review:


Jodie Foster won her first Oscar for her role in this drama, based on an actual incident. She plays a girl out for a night of fun at a poolroom. Before she knows what’s happening, the men she’s been flirting with have pinned her down for a gang rape. The story centers on the efforts of a district attorney (Kelly McGillis) to press her case, in spite of a wall of silence by the participants–and then to take the unusual step of going after the witnesses as accomplices. Foster is outstanding as a tough, blue-collar woman who persists in what seems like an unwinnable case, despite the prospect of character assassination for standing up for herself. –Marshall Fine

In the movie the victim is pretty much treated as if she were the wrong doer. There are plenty of bystanders, the rape is cheered on!  This leads us to ask “does it happen in real life?” The answer is a resounding YES!

 So many victims choose not to report because of what we call “collateral damage”. What was she wearing? Why was she there? She had been drinking, doing drugs, cheating, dating, etc. Victim Blaming is a huge problem in our society. Let me be clear; No One Deserves to Be Raped! The responsibility lies solely and completely on the perpetrator.

Do bystanders really just look the other way? YES! We see it all the time when abuse is hidden as “family business.” When people look at drug assisted rape with a “get her drunk and screw her” mentality.  When people tall a victim they are making a big deal out of harassment or assault so the perpetrator can escape punishment or even embarrassment.

We are going to take a look at what it would be like if some of the circumstances were changed to fit the college atmosphere. Where can we change attitudes and awareness here in our community? I am guessing these students will surprise me with their ideas and plans, they usually do!

RCASA’s Wednesday Outreach with Corey: Sexting

In Advocacy, Outreach, Sexual Assault Awareness on December 30, 2009 at 9:00 am

It is time to talk about sexting.

 Sexting is a combination of the words, sex and texting. It is the act of sending sexually explicit messages or photos electronically, primarily between mobile phones.

 Why is sexting so important to talk about?

 It is going on in our community and negatively impacting our kids.

 The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy, about 22 percent of teenage girls and 18 percent of boys admit to having “electronically sent, or posted online, nude or seminude pictures or video of themselves.”

I can tell you as a person who goes out and talks with teens about sexual assault, sexual harassment, healthy relationships, etc, that sexting is alive and growing here in the Rappahannock area.

 Sexting opens doors for predators

 Anthony R. Stancl, is charged with setting up fake profiles on Facebook to dupe 31 male classmates, some as young as 15, into sending him nude photographs of themselves. He led them to believe they were sending the photos to a flirtatious young girl who would reciprocate by sending them naked pictures of herself. He then threatened to release the photos to the victims’ friends or even all of their schools- 850 students- if the youths who had sent them to him did not agree to perform the sexual acts he subsequently demanded. The tactic was successful, officials said. Mr. Stancl is accused of using it to sexually assault seven boys.

 Sexting can have devastating emotional effects.

 I used to tell teens that they should never post or send anything they would not want their mom or dad to see. I have learned though, to help them truly understand the possible outcomes of sexting, they should never post or send anything they would never want their arch enemy to get ahold of! These text and photos are so easy to copy, manipulate, and spread!

 For example, 18 year old Jesse Logan and her boyfriend broke up and he decided to share the private pictures with other teen girls. The girls then started calling Jesse names such as slut and whore. The pressure was too much for Jesse and she took her own life, she committed suicide by hanging herself.

 Sexting is illegal.

 Creating, transmitting, and even possessing a nude, seminude, or sexually explicit image of a minor can be considered child pornography. It can be prosecuted as a state or federal felony and can even lead to a person having to register as a sex offender. I am not going to debate the laws here; I just want to make sure we have a clear understanding that sexting is not just some silly thing kids do that we should laugh off as “kids being kids.” There are very serious repercussions.

  •  In Spotsylvania county two teen boys were charged with  electronic solicitation and possession of child pornography with intent to distribute. The teens were said to have solicited the photos from middle and high school students.


  • Four students at Staunton River High School in Bedford County Virginia faced criminal charges after an investigation uncovered nude cell phone photographs of minors. All four teens were charged with misdemeanors related to obscenity offenses, one of them is also charged with a felony.


  • An Assistant Principal at Freedom High School in Loudoun County Virginia  was arrested for child pornography he had as a result of investigating sexting in his school. He was later vindicated, but only after the ruination of his career, reputation, and finances.

 The bottom line is that sexting is a very dangerous thing for kids to be involved in. Parents, TALK TO YOUR KIDS ABOUT SEXTING!  Make sure you are aware of their activities online and on the phone. Kids do not automatically think of all the possible consequences of their actions, so it is up to us to make them aware of them.

RCASA’s Wednesday Outreach with Corey:Choose Respect

In Advocacy, Outreach, Sexual Assault Awareness on December 23, 2009 at 9:00 am

Okay, this week I am all wound up! Our application/ plan of action was chosen by the VA Department of Health and we have been awarded funds to start a new teen dating violence prevention project in our community. We will be offering the “Choose Respect” curriculum to as many faith based youth groups in our community as possible.

 It will start with a kick off event in January. We will gather as many youth group leaders as possible to learn about the Choose Respect program. We will be offering the training, learning materials, activities, and technical assistance to any and all faith based organizations. Two lucky organizations will have our own RCASA outreach and education team come and facilitate activities and programming with the teens, parents, and leaders of their particular organization. We will of course be able to fuse the values of the faith community with the values of respect and healthy relationships of the curriculum.

 Choose Respect Overview- From the Choose Repect Press Kit

Choose Respect is an initiative to help youth form healthy relationships to prevent dating abuse before it starts. This national effort is designed to motivate youth to challenge harmful beliefs about dating abuse and take steps to form respectful relationships.

The Need

Unhealthy relationship behaviors can start early and last a lifetime. According to recent research from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), 1 in 11 youth reports being a victim of physical dating abuse. Even more startling, youth who report experiencing dating abuse are also more likely to report binge drinking, suicide attempts, physical fighting, and current sexual activity.

The Goal

Choose Respect is designed to encourage positive action on the part of youth to form healthy, respectful relationships. Research for the initiative shows most youth have positive, healthy attitudes about their relationships with others. Choose Respect seeks to reinforce and sustain these positive attitudes among youth as they get older and begin to enter dating relationships by:

Providing effective messages for youth, parents, caregivers, and teachers that encourage them to establish healthy and respectful relationships.

Creating opportunities for youth and communities to support healthy and respectful relationships.

The Audience

Choose Respect reaches out to youth ages 11–14 because they’re still forming attitudes and beliefs that will affect how they are treated and how they treat others. The initiative also connects with parents, teachers, youth leaders, and other supportive adults who influence the lives of youth.

RCASA’s Wednesday Outreach with Corey: Teens Against Sexual Assault

In Advocacy, Outreach, Sexual Assault Awareness on December 16, 2009 at 9:29 am

This week I went out to King George High School to plan this years’ TASA (Teens Against Sexual Assault) group. Last year’s TASA group was awesome! The kids really went with it. We started out having educational meetings where outreach staff and interns would facilitate activities and discussions on various topics ranging from sexual harassment and dating abuse to how to help a victim.

 The kids then made posters on the various topics they learned about and compiled a “zine”. A zine (an abbreviation of the word fanzine, or magazine; pronounced “zeen”) is most commonly a small circulation publication of original or appropriated texts and images. More broadly, the term encompasses any self-published work of minority interest usually reproduced via photocopier on a variety of colored paper stock. Their zine was awesome! It was twenty pages of images, information, artwork on all the topics covered. The students published and distributed throughout their community over one hundred copies enlisting the help of parents, employers, and other community members.

 This year we are enlisting all new students who range from those most at risk for unhealthy relationships to student leaders to be involved in the group. We will be meeting for one “block” bi weekly for six months to learn all different aspects of violence prevention and advocacy. I am looking forward to seeing what the kids will do to get their message out this year!

RCASA’s Wednesday Outreach with Corey

In Sexual Assault Awareness on December 9, 2009 at 8:25 am

Monday I went to a training on “Safe Dates”– Adolescent Dating Abuse Prevention Curriculum– by the Hazelden Foundation. This is the curriculum we most use with high schools.(We use Choose Respect with middle schools, more on that next week!)

Safe dates helps young people recognize the difference between healthy, caring, and supportive relationships, and controlling, manipulative, and abusive dating relationships. Highly engaging and interactive, Safe Dates gets young people thinking about:

  • how they want to be treated by a dating partner
  • how they want to treat a girlfriend or boyfriend
  • what abusive dating relationships look like
  • why dating abuse happens and its causes and consequences
  • how to tell if they are in an abusive relationship
  • what to do about feelings of anger and jealousy
  • how to help a friend who might be in an abusive relationship

From Hazelden Website

Safe Dates, proven to be effective with both boys and girls, addresses perpetrators of violence as well as victims. It works as both a prevention and intervention tool, with case studies and activities that are relevant for teens who have not started dating as well as those who have been “going out” for a long time.

We have been using parts of this curriculum in schools this year. Two of my favorite exercises are “dating bingo” and “Caring People”.

 Dating Bingo is a game where you have a bingo card of attributes of a dating partner (for example: honest, supportive, good looking, funny, rich) and you chose you five most important, then you move around the room exchanging signatures on the card of others who have chosen one of the same attributes. The first to collect all five signatures wins! It is for a lot of teens the first time they actually thought of what exactly they want!

“Caring People” is a written exercise where the kids list five people who care about them, then they take their time listing what it is these people do that let them know they care. Common answers are that they listen, are supportive, trustworthy, affectionate, know them well, accept them unconditionally, and give them time. This gets them really thinking about what caring (healthy) relationships are all about!

The Session that is closest to my heart is “Preventing Sexual Assault”. This 50 minute session includes units on Understanding Sexual Assault, Confronting Victim Blaming, Interpreting Cues, Precautions, and Dating Safely. As with all the units, it is very interactive and helps the youth fully understand and form healthy attitudes about violence and relationships.

This is just one of the many subjects available for training/presentation by RCASA. Please contact us if you have a group that would like to learn more from this or any other curriculum! We would love to carry the message of Prevention to anyone and everyone in our community!

Contact RCASA at (540)371-6771. If you need Hotline assistance, please call (540)371-5502 24 hours a day/7 days a week. See our website at www.rcasa.org

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