We want the second half of our life to be as good as the first half was hard. Sometimes we’re afraid it won’t be. Sometimes we’re afraid it might be.
The good stuff can scare us. Change, even good change, can be frightening. In some ways, good changes can be more frightening than the hard times.
The past may have become comfortably familiar. We knew what to expect in our relationships. They were predictable. They were repeats of the same pattern- the same behaviors, the same pain, over and over again. They may not have been what we wanted, but we knew what was going to happen.
This is not so when we begin to grow and change our patterns.
We may have been fairly good at predicting events in most areas of our life. Relationships would be painful. We’d be deprived.
Each year would be almost a repeat of the last. Sometimes it got a little worse, sometimes a little better, but the change wasn’t drastic. Not until the moment when we began recovery.
Then things changed. And the further we progress in this growth, the more we and our circumstances change. We begin to explore uncharted territory.
Things get good. They do get better all the time. We begin to become successful in love, in work, in life. One day at a time, the good stuff begins to happen and the misery dissipates.
We no longer want to be a victim of life. We’ve learned to avoid unnecessary crisis and trauma.
Life gets good.
“How do I handle the good stuff?” asked one woman. It’s harder and more foreign than the pain and tragedy.
“The same way we handled the difficult and painful experiences,” I replied. “One day at a time.”