We don’t have to give others so much power and ourselves so little. We don’t have to give others so much credit and ourselves so little. In recovery from codependency, we learn there’s a big difference between humility and discounting ourselves.
When others act irresponsibly and attempt to blame their problems on us, we no longer feel guilty. We let them face their own consequences. When others talk nonsense, we don’t question our own thinking.
When others try to manipulate or exploit us, we know it’s okay to feel anger and distrust and to say no to the plan. When others tell us that we don’t want something that we really don’t want, or someone tells us that we don’t want something that we really do want, we trust ourselves. When others tell us things we don’t believe, we know it’s okay to trust instincts. We can even change our mind later.
We don’t have to give up our personal power to anyone: strangers, friends, spouses, children, authority figures, or those over whom we’re in authority. People may have things to teach us. They may have more information than we have, and may appear more confident or forceful than we feel. But we are equals. Our magic is not in them. Our magic, our light, is in us. And it is as bright a light as theirs.
We are not second-class citizens. By owning our power, we don’t have to become aggressive or controlling. We don’t have to discount others. But we don’t discount ourselves either.