RCASA’s Wednesday Outreach with Corey: Engaging Men to Stop Rape

In Outreach, Sexual Assault Awareness on May 26, 2010 at 8:00 am

There are things we do without even thinking about them, take a look at some of the things you may be doing that perpetuate sexism and violence. Do you do any of these things? If you do, STOP! So you can help STOP RAPE!

  • Use derogatory words to describe a female like “bitch,” “freak,” “whore,” “baby,”
  • See women as a stereotype rather than a person?
  • Use or fund violent or degrading pornography?
  • Stand by while others degrade women?
  • Look the other way when you suspect abuse?
  • Use alcohol as a way to coerce sex?
  • Whistle, Cat call or in any way sexually harass women?
  • Believe in the media portrayal of women as property or trophies?
  • Indulge in media that demeans women?
  • Try to pressure someone into having sex?
  • Fail to communicate with your partner about sex?
  • Refuse to take no for an answer?
  • Not make sure you get a clear yes for sex, every time?
  • Believe that “she deserved it”?
  • Assume that if someone wants sex if they are sexual with you on any level?
  • Think because you had sex before, you don’t have to get consent to have sex again?
  • Forget that men are victims too (1 in 8 men in Virginia have been sexually assaulted)
  • Set a bad example for adolescents?
  • Think of sexual assault as a women’s issue?

What can you do instead:

  • Speak Up! You will probably never see a rape in progress, but you will see and hear attitudes and behaviors that degrade women and promote rape. When your best friend tells a joke about rape, say you don’t find it funny. When you read an article that blames a rape survivor for being assaulted, write a letter to the editor. When laws are proposed that limit women’s rights, let politicians know that you don’t support them. Do anything but remain silent.
  • Develop an awareness of the cultural supports for violence against women. Develop the ability to recognize myths which support violence against women. When you see sex without consent on TV, in a film or read it in a book, remind yourself that such behavior is rape.
  • If a brother, friend, classmate, or teammate is abusing his female partner—or is disrespectful or abusive to girls and women in general—don’t look the other way. If you feel comfortable doing so, try to talk to him about it. Urge him to seek help. Or if you don’t know what to do, consult a friend, a parent, a professor, or a counselor. DON”T REMAIN SILENT.
  • Talk to a victim about how the risk of being raped affects their daily lives; about how they want to be supported if it has happened to them; about what they think men can do to prevent sexual violence. If you’re willing to listen, you can learn a lot from women about the impact of rape and how to stop it.
  • Believe people when they tell you they’ve been raped or harassed. Support what they say about it. Don’t ask about their behavior or what they were wearing, etc. Listen to them.
  • Recognize that women neither ask for nor deserve to be raped ever. (from sexual assault and abuse prevention program Stanford University)
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